so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
