His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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