your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
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