You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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