Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
this beer tastes like vomit already
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So vagazzling was a success
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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