Cold hands, warm shart.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
