Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
