I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
