My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
