so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
