I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
