I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
