So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
