I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
