And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
