i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
