So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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