I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
