I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
where are my eyebrows?
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