I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
