What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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