We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
