dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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