I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
