She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize