We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
