My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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