In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
