loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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