If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize