its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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