Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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