Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
