I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
