I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize