Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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