called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
