Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just pynch a tree in the face
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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