we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize