the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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