this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
our cab driver is having phone sex.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
