you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We are all done wearing pants today
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
