Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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