I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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