Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Randomize