I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
