It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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