Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
