You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
