You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
