I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
