So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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