so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
