i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
