I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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