I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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